Hello! I am in South Florida for Spring Break with Morgan and we decided to make another video. Enjoy.
P.S. I will eventually catch up on my Bachelor recaps. Whoops.
Oddly out of place, the group date was saved for last and Nurse Nikki was the second to go on a date this week. This date was one of those cliche "face your fears" dates. Boo. Nikki and JP repelled down this cave known as the "Hell Cave." Nikki put on her weird headband across her forehead, and was talked into (kissed into) repelling much faster than Chelsie was talking into bungee jumping. Or at least it was edited that way. To be honest, I probably would've been slightly freaked out myself. Repelling down some random cave in Vietnam held up by Lord knows what kind of equipment. Definitely worth a five minute temper tantrum.
FINALLY. The soccer date I have been waiting for. JP doesn't have my heart quite like Sean Lowe does, but he did look rather dashing in his soccer uniform, or as my best friend Morgan would call it, costume. It's clear that Pabs was totally in his element, and it's really cool to watch. The girls would be competing against each other in a soccer game with JP as the referee. But, first, he was kind enough to practice some drills with the girls. It quickly became clear who had a soccer background, who was athletic, and who was hopeless. Southern belle Kelly was in the hopeless category, but she tried really hard, bless her heart. During the actual game, Sharleen got hit with the ball more times than a dodgeball player, even once by Pabs himself. I have a theory about the damages from the hits that I will share later. All of the girls played their hearts out, and even though the blue team lost, everyone got to stay for the rest of the date. Unusual.
After a quick bout of ice skating, which Clare looked very out of place and not so graceful in, the date moved to the hot tub. Clare looked gorgeous in her bikini, and she snuggled up to JP to "open up" as all the girls feel they need to. Clare might have been a bit too open for date numero uno as she spent most of the time talking about her late dad, who was the "epitome of what a man should be." Also, she was massaging JP the whole time, which poor Crazy Amy did and she was sent home! JP must've liked Clare's touch better, because she got a rose. Just in time too. The first private concert of the season was starting. I hate that the girls still act surprised that they are a part of a private concert. That's ABC's signature move, ladies! However, I was surprised, and slightly annoyed, that the private concerts started on the very first date this season. Overall, I think it was a solid first date for this season. Clare did a great job of being herself; Juan Pablo did a great job of keeping the confusing accent and dialogue to a minimum.
Undoubtedly the most controversy and drama came from the costumes that Andi and Elise were supposed to wear. No clothes, no swimsuits, just a piece of cardboard to barely cover them, that read "Adopt" and "Me" respectively. Naturally, the girls were stressing out about how scantily clad they would be, and for good reason. As a lawyer and a first grade teacher, posing practically nude on national television goes against everything they value and have worked for. Elise was quick and clever and traded her "costume" for Lucy's fire hydrant costume. Lucy is our resident nudist this season. Her job is listed as "free spirit", and she is every bit of that. Producers are clearly keeping her on the show to create drama with the girls. And cameramen are just begging to keep her around as long as possible. So, Elise was in the clear, but Andi was still stressing. JP came over to comfort her and informed her that he would also be posing nude in the photo shoot so everything was "allll goood." For whatever reason, this comforted her enough to convince her to do it. The three of them posed in the strangest photo shoot I've seen in a while. Quite the first date, eh?
Ladies and gentlemen, mujeres y hombres, we are back! After much too long of a hiatus (there was no Bachelor Pad this summer), The Bachelor returned with Juan Pablo. Someone on Twitter, probably Chris Harrison, affectionately named this month "Juanuary", as each and every week, viewers are "blessed" with two nights of The Bachelor. So, although The Bachelor technically premiered on Monday night, there was a "Behind the Scenes" look into Juan Pablo's life as well as the casting process of the girls that was broadcasted on Sunday night. You didn't miss much.
However, the night is still young and everyone wants their time with JP. Amy aka Crazy Amy decides that it would be appropriate to take JP outside and showcase her masseuse skills. First of all, he's in a suit so there's no way this massage is actually enjoyable. Secondly, just no. It was so awkward to watch and JP was visibly uncomfortable. Needless to say, Crazy Amy didn't get a rose. ![]() |
| (If you didn't read this in the Spongebob narration voice, we can't be friends.) |
After spending the day with Chris, Desiree tells the camera, "How could I not have loved him from the beginning?" Hmm. Interesting. She decides that she wants Chris to meet her family. Bring on the brother. Chris is very excited and eager to meet her family and ask her dad for his blessing. Nate, Des' brother, grills Chris similarly to as he did Sean last season, but gives Des his approval in the end. Bravo. Des' parents are really quirky and at this point I decided that the two families would get along quite well, actually. Chris gets the dad's approval, and it seems like we will be moving forward with this whole process. Again, interesting.
Undoubtedly the best part of the entire finale was the announcement of Juan Pablo as the next Bachelor! I am so pumped I can barely stand it. His season (I predict) is going to be absolutely hilarious, filled with adventures, and extremely entertaining. Word on the street is that ABC's website crashed last night from the flood of applications it received after announcing Juan Pablo as the next Bachelor. I believe it.