Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Bachelor: Week 5&6 Recap

Week 5:

Looks like we are staying in the western side of the world for one more week. Pabs took the ladies to Vietnam, which is ironically the "perfect place to fall in love." Aren't they all? Two one-on-one dates and one group date this week, and plenty of drama.

Renee's One-on-One:
Momma Renee was the first this week to go on a date. I was super excited for her date as she is one of my favorites this season. She was as giddy as a teenager going on her first date, and it was precious. Pabby escorted Renee through the streets of Vietnam...on an oversized stroller bike thing. Probably another clever plan for Pabs to put off having a conversation as long as possible. I wasn't super impressed with the ingenuity of this date, but there is also the possibility that this was one of their only options. I don't know much about Vietnam, but "tourist attraction" surely didn't come to mind. Then again, I thought the same about Seoul. I'm ready for some green grass and open spaces, please. Or a beach. Anyways, JP takes Renee to a local dress shop where Renee gets fitted for an authentic Vietnamese dress. Then she randomly disappears for a while and returns in a long blue kimono (is that the right word?). Pabs is blown away by how gorgeous she is, and while her dress wasn't one that I would buy, she did look stunning in it.

Dinner goes well, and that's about it. The two send off these little lantern things into the river which was really cute and reminded me of the Disney movie Tangled. Great movie. Unfortunately, Renee didn't get the kiss she has been DYING for, but she did get the rose which is just as good (maybe better).

Nikki's One-on-One:
Oddly out of place, the group date was saved for last and Nurse Nikki was the second to go on a date this week. This date was one of those cliche "face your fears" dates. Boo. Nikki and JP repelled down this cave known as the "Hell Cave." Nikki put on her weird headband across her forehead, and was talked into (kissed into) repelling much faster than Chelsie was talking into bungee jumping. Or at least it was edited that way. To be honest, I probably would've been slightly freaked out myself. Repelling down some random cave in Vietnam held up by Lord knows what kind of equipment. Definitely worth a five minute temper tantrum.

For the evening portion of the date, Nikki rocked a little black dress, and JP took notice. The dinner conversation went well and Nikki showed her nice, caring side. I can't decide if I like her or not. I think it just depends on the day, she's somewhat unpredictable with her moods. JP listened well, or at least it looked that way. More than likely he was just probably alternating between staring at her and attempting to translate everything in his head. Whatever he translated must've been good, because Nikki gets the rose and secures another week on the show.

Group Date:
Another random boating adventure, this time in nice brown muddy water. Mmm. Clare and Pabs share a boat as once again Clare has no friends in the house. Red flag, buddy. JP turns into his other self when he's around Clare, and NO ME GUSTA. He purposely "falls behind" and pulls his boat off to the side of the river to kiss Clare. Again and again. The editing made it look like the girls saw them, but JP swears that they didn't. I believe the girls. After that awkward boating adventure, JP leaves his one-on-one with Clare and rejoins the group. For a while. The groups wanders into a native's home and share a rather quiet meal together. Naturally, Clare is right next to Pabby and can't get through the meal without throwing a mini tantrum about the food. For 31 years old, she acts about 13.

The evening portion of the date is where things got interesting. Despite his extensive time with Clare during the day, Pabs pulls Clare away first and takes her to his personal suite for a swim in his pool. Apparently this is another one of Clare's fears? Cold water? Juan Pablo thinks it's super cute though. OF COURSE. Pabby also spent some time with Andi and Sharleen. And by "spent time," I just mean made out with. I just want to reach into the TV and punch him sometimes. We are five weeks in and I am still waiting on a meaningful conversation between him and one of the women. I understand it's reality TV, but you're supposed to be finding your future wife here! I sure would want to have a conversation or two before asking someone to marry me. Unless of course it was Ryan Gosling. It's occurred to me that perhaps Pabs isn't looking for a "mom" for Camila, but rather just a fun trophy wife/playmate type thing. Minus points.

Clare gets the group rose. *Glares from the other girls.* So, the night is over, right? Wrong-o. Clare pulls a Courtney and sneaks over to Pabby's room later that night and asks him if he would like to join her in the ocean for a late night swim. Keep in mind, Pabs has every right to say no. But, he says absolutely and the two frolic into the ocean to conquer yet another one of Clare's ridiculous fears. Now, what happened in the ocean has been the main topic of Bachelor conversation for the past few weeks. Some say, Clare included, that all they did was kiss. The majority of viewers suspect something more happened because following their ocean excursion, a great tension between the two of them was formed. At the cocktail party, JP has a conversation with Clare revealing that he regrets what happened in the ocean. So, what happened? Clare is taken completely by surprise and rightly upset as Pabs kind of blamed her for the whole thing. Juan Pablo has this weird way of saying really mean things in a sort of nice way to make the girls think what he wants them to think. I refuse to attribute it all to the language barrier. I think he's kind of a tool.

Clare comes back into the cocktail party wiping her eyes, blaming it on allergies. Good cover, babe. The rest of the girls know something is up because JP is kind of on edge. It's no secret that Clare is his number one chick at this point, so the rest of the girls are confused as to why there is this tension between them. Renee finally gets her kiss tonight. Although, at this point Pabs was probably just trying to keep his mind (and lips) occupied to avoid Clare. So I feel bad for Renee because I'm not sure if the kiss was genuine or not. She was overjoyed though, to say the least. Sassy Sharleen gets a few moments with Pabs before the rose ceremony, and spends most of them crying. She is an emotional roller-coaster, and I want off the ride.

Danielle, Kelly, and Alli (who?) all went home after a very dramatic and emotional week. We are down to eight girls, of which I like maybe three. In the next couple weeks, I'm hoping for two things. 1) Sharleen finally cracks and goes home. 2) JP gets called out by one of the girls and maybe gets punched. That would be awesome.

Week 6:

FINALLY! A destination worth talking about. This week, we were in New Zealand. Trees, cows, blue skies...it doesn't get much better, in my opinion. Pabs had two one-on-one dates and one group date this week. While this week wasn't filled with quite as much drama as the last, there definitely were a fair amount of tears.

Andi's One-on-One:
Despite appearing to be a front runner from night one when she stepped out of the limo, it's week six and Andi is just now getting her first one-on-one date. At least it's in the gorgeous New Zealand. I definitely would've preferred that to Vietnam or Seoul. The two board a speed boat and quickly go zooming off into the distance. Juan Pablo decides he's had enough of the boating and he hops into the water with Andi and guides her through some pretty tight rocks to a waterfall. Rightfully so, she's a little freaked out at how they are literally having to squeeze and suck in to get through these rocks, but Pabs pulls out one of his catch phrases of the season, "trust me," and Andi gets over it. Andi is rocking a one-piece on this date which I give her MAJOR props for, because she actually looks gorgeous in it. After a standard make-out session, Pabs' other signature move, the exotic part of the date is over.

The couple (can you call them that?) share dinner beside a local geyser. Apparently that is romantic? From the beginning, I was just waiting for the geyser to explode...and it finally did. Pabs and Attorney Andi were drenched in water and their date had to be relocated to some random spot. Andi thought it was super romantic; I would've been pressed that my dinner was ruined. Not surprisingly, there isn't much conversation shared between the two, but nonetheless, Andi gets the rose. It was the swimsuit.

Group Date:
This group date was probably one of my favorites in Bachelor history. At least the beginning was. Pabby took some of his ladies to this giant hill where they all rolled down it in these giant inflatable plastic (?) balls. It sounds kind of weird and lame, but it looked like a blast. The girls were absolutely loving it, and Pabs was absolutely loving being surrounded by women in bikinis. Total Pabs move.

For the evening portion of the date, Pabs took the ladies to Hobbiton, where the filming of The Hobbit (Lord of the Rings) took place. My inner nerd was loving it. Each girl got their time with Juan Pablo, long enough to share a few kisses but short enough to keep Juan Pablo from talking. Apparently Sassy Sharleen made the best impression because she secured the group rose. My precious. Cass didn't make quite as good as of an impression because she was sent home prior to the rose ceremony. On her 22nd birthday. Pabs reason for sending her home was the standard "I don't want to keep you away from you kid for even one more day," but I think the true reason was more along the lines of "Oh my gosh, you're 22?! How did I not know this until now?? BYE."

Clare's (second) One-on-One:
Either the producers wanted the viewers to see significant camera time of Clare and JP following their controversial frolic in the ocean last week, or JP really likes Clare. Regardless, Clare was the first to receive the second one-on-one of the season. Clare didn't waste time before bringing up the infamous ocean; she was clearly looking for an apology. Somehow Juan Pablo mumbled his way into what Clare thought was an apology; I didn't buy it. There was no actual "date" that I could tell, just a lot of passive aggressive comment towards each other...and some kissing. Clare and Pabs' relationship (if you want to call it that) is just extremely confusing to me. No substantial conversations, just these weird looks at each other and a lot of physical chemistry. Although, at this point I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

The evening portion of the date was spent at JP's place, on the couch "talking." I use quotation marks because I'm not sure if Pabs actually said any words in English, or if he just pulled the standard "Mhmmm....you're cute" lines. Pabs did request for Clare to get into some of his sweatpants so they can just "hang out and be comfortable." If that's not sending any different of a signal than a late night ocean swim...I must be crazy. Clare got the rose. Duh.

Kat and Chelsie were probably considered the "bottom two" this week, and it was Kat that ended up getting the boot. Chels is likely to be the next one out the door, provided nothing crazy happens next week.


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