The Bachelorette: Week 10 Recap

Week 10

This Monday began the two part finale of Desiree's season as The Bachelorette. ABC advertised and promised that this would be the most shocking, drama filled finale yet...and they did not disappoint. However, they did leave the drama until the very end of the episode. Standard.

Drew: Drew and Des spend the day tooling around the island of Antigua in a sporty Jeep, stopping along the way to kiss. A lot. Drew is head over heels for this girl; he can't stop kissing her and saying 'I love you.' They attend a local festival with dancing, shopping, and awkward gestures from the locals. A local hands Des a heart made out of leaves or something weird and then proceeds to ask Drew and Des to kiss. Intensely. And then, he just sits there and watches. Creepy. The couple has dinner in their fantasy suite that Drew gladly accepted the invitation to. Drew talks of how excited he is to finally be able to say "good morning" instead of "good night." This kid really is precious.

Chris: Private island date. I knew it was coming. Although, this private island looked a little less than impressive. There was just lots of sand and not very many trees. As Des and Chris talked on the beach, I noticed that they were both squinting at the sun, but neither had sunglasses. Apparently, sunglasses are not allowed. That officially puts me out of the running for ever being on the show. At dinner, Chris presents Des with...another poem. I think this is poem number eight or nine. Enough is enough, buddy. Des couldn't care less though, at least it seems that way. She looks at him all wide-eyed as usual as he reads it aloud to her. They talk of where they would live if this whole thing were to work out, and Chris asks Desiree if she would be comfortable moving to Seattle. This is the first concrete discussion of plans after the show that I have ever heard. Some redeeming points to Chris to counteract his cheesiness. Just a few. Chris also accepts his invitation to the fantasy suite and the two spend the remainder of their evening in the hot tub, kissing and stuff. Eew.

Brooks: Here's where things get really interesting. Prior to flying out to Antigua, Brooks revisits his family to discuss some feelings and hesitations that he is having. Uh oh. Not a good sign. During his discussion with his mother and sister, he comes to the conclusion that he is not in love with Desiree, despite how much he wants to be, and will be breaking up with her when he arrives in Antigua. As we know, Desiree is in love with Brooks, (breaking protocol by telling us) so this is going to absolutely devastate her. Brooks talks with Chris Harrison and confirms his decision, though he was a wreck while discussing it. If he was this shaky and nervous while talking to Chris, talking to Desiree is going to be an absolute disaster.

And it was. As Brooks greeted Des, she immediately sensed that something was wrong. He led her to a bench where he began to try to explain what he was feeling, though he never said the words "I don't love you" or anything with the word "break up" in it. However, Des quickly put together the pieces and was crushed. As she should've been. The breakup itself took way longer than necessary and eventually got boring, in my opinion. I wanted to scream at Brooks to just leave already! Leave Desiree to cry and grieve. She needs to be alone and away from you to start the whole grieving and healing process. Having been in this almost exact same situation, I know how hard it was for both Desiree and Brooks. Many people just empathized with Desiree (which is fine and needed), but forget how hard it is to leave someone that you so desperately want to love, but just don't. Brooks made the mistake of staying with Desiree for way too long, trying to comfort her. That is not your place, bud! After what seemed like an eternity, Brooks and Des finally went their separate ways. Whew, that was exhausting.

So now what? Des was very much in love with Brooks, but he didn't feel the same way and left. In my opinion, after watching her get so torn up by Brooks' departure, there is no way that she can pick either Drew or Chris. It just wouldn't make any sense. So, for the first time in Bachelorette history, I think she chooses no one. If Brooks decides to come back for whatever reason, I think she would accept his proposal and they would both be making a huge mistake. I feel for this girl, I really do. Crossing my fingers for everything to turn out okay for her, at some point down the road.

The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All (Week 9)

Welcome to The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All. Let's put all of the men that have been cast off this season in one room and watch them confront each other. That is, if their egos can all fit in the same room. Honestly, I was not looking forward to this episode. Two hours of drama is just not up my alley. That being said...

As the men are introduced, the loudest applause goes to Juan Pablo and Zak W, and the loudest 'boo's went to Ben and James. No surprises there. After a brief recap of the drama highlights of the season, the floor is opened up for the guys to discuss their feelings. Here we go.

Jonathan was the first to catch a little bit of heat for his fantasy suite opener and he quickly apologized for that and we all moved on. Lucky break for him. Bryan was the next to be put in the hot seat, though he was not present for the grilling. Coward. The general consensus among the men was that Bryan was not there for the right reasons and had absolutely no business going on the show with a girlfriend back home (even if she was completely psychotic.) Once again, agreed. Let's move on to the more interesting stuff please, Chris!

With Ben in the hot seat, things heat up. But, only slightly. He explains his less than graceful exit with saying that he had just been dumped and battered about huge things in his life for eight hours straight. The guy was bound to crack at some point, right? However, I wish he could've cracked a little sooner and high-fived Michael G...in the face...with a chair. Ben was the classic snake of the season that none of the other housemates liked. One could compare him to Tierra of Sean's season, but not nearly as bad.

James was in the hot seat for way too long. Honestly, looking back, the drama of this season was rather disappointing. The main controversy with James surrounded a conversation between James and Mikey in a limo. For more on the whole James drama, feel free to read my recap of Week 6. As he is questioned by Chris and the other men, James gets defensive instantly and starts talking really fast and stuttering again. I'll give this guy some grace, but America certainly did not. Life goes on after the show. There was no master plan to become to the next Bachelor; this guy just said the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong place around the wrong people. Amidst all of the shouting, pointing, and yelling, poor Juan Pablo is caught sitting in between Mikey and Kasey. Somebody get this guy a seat change.

Juan Pablo was next to be put in the hot seat, but for different reasons. That man sent the hot seat up in flames. So America, and the other guys, all have a crush on Juan Pablo. Literally no one had anything negative to say about Juan Pablo. He is the clear fan favorite...next Bachelor anyone? I'd watch.

Zak W is wearing the same outfit tonight that he was wearing on the night he was let go. Wait a minute, did he just come from Des dumping him? One would think so by how torn up over Des he still is. In a very creepy conversation with Chris Harrison, Zak reveals that he wrote a secret in invisible ink in the back of the journal that he gave Des. Very National Treasure of you. When Desiree arrives and confronts the men, Zak decides it would be a good idea to break out his guitar and sing Des a song he wrote for her...How did ABC let this happen? Aside from this just being a disaster in general, his performance looked a lot more like an audition for The Voice than a heartbroken song for Desiree. It was clear that she felt incredibly uncomfortable, as did everyone else watching that. He lost a lot of points in my book for that. Too desperate, bud.


The show ended with a three minute compilation of hilarious bloopers. I wish we would've watched two hours of that! Next week will begin the dramatic two part finahhhhhle (as Chris Harrison pronounces it). My prediction: Brooks leaves due to cold feet, Des is torn up and chooses no one. But, Brooks then realizes he made a mistake and comes back and they get engaged. Honestly, I have NO CLUE. 

The Bachelorette: Hometown Recap (Week 8)

Though it is rather obvious, I feel the need to mention that my blog template has once again changed. The template that I was previously using malfunctioned and I reluctantly switched to this current one. Although it is not my favorite, it does have a few cool features: A poll (be sure to vote before next week), a link to follow me on Twitter, and links to popular posts if you are looking for something additional to read. Hopefully all the recent switching isn't too crazy for you; I promise I'm done for a while.

Week 8: Hometowns 

Hometowns! This week, Desiree got to meet the families of Zak, Drew, Chris, and Brooks. This was arguably the best week of hometowns this show has seen in a while, but it didn't go without its usual quirks and awkward moments.




Zak's Hometown: Zak was up first and he was visibly thrilled to be showing Des around his hometown of Dallas, Texas. Their date started with Zak telling Des about a dream that he had, a very confusing, strange dream involving Sno-Cones, children, and penguins. He then disappeared, leaving Des (and me) perplexed. Zak returned moments later in an ice cream truck...the family ice cream truck. He and Des would be serving Sno-Cones to an elementary school full of eager children. Absolutely precious. This date actually looked like a blast and Desiree was clearly enjoying herself and enjoying seeing Zak in his element.

As Desiree and Zak walked into his house, they were greeted enthusiastically by his family. His mom was adorable and I fell in love with her instantly. She was so welcoming to Desiree and so excited to meet her and get to know her. Definitely not the typical potential awful "mother-in-law" situation. The conversations between all of the family members and Desiree went seamlessly and the family concluded the evening with the performance of an original song written about welcoming Desiree into the family. With such a genuine family, I knew Desiree was going to have a terrible time sending Zak home, if it came to that.

As Zak said his goodbyes to Des, he presented her with a promise ring and told her that he loved her. Although Desiree couldn't say "I love you too" back, (or so we thought...) she expressed how touched she was by his gesture and kind words. Overall, this hometown date went as perfectly as possible, by the books.

Drew's Hometown: Welcome to Scottsdale, Arizona: home of one of the few men in the world that can rock a bright pink shirt. Drew and Desiree start the day off by picking up Drew's severely mentally handicapped sister and bringing her home to spend the day with her family. Drew's sister's reaction to seeing her brother is priceless. Though she cannot formulate words or much of anything, her screaming is clearly from excitement and she rushes over to give Drew a big hug. Desiree is touched by being a part of this experience and, with her loving reaction to meeting Drew's sister, she slips into the family perfectly from the very beginning. Upon meeting Drew's family, it's instantly clear that he comes from an incredibly loving family and they welcome Des with open arms. In her conversation with Drew's father, he shares with her that he has met an angel, his daughter. Des is brought to tears and tells the camera that she is "ready to move in."

Drew tells Desiree that he loves her, and boldly. Des' reaction is more passionate and receptive than when Zak told her, which places Drew in front of Zak for best hometown date.

Chris' Hometown: Remember earlier when I said despite the overall awesome hometown dates there were some awkward moments? Well, it's time. The time that Chris and Desiree spend alone is not awkward at all; it's perfect. They play baseball in his home field and have an absolute blast. The connection between the two of them is easy to see. Things don't get weird until Chris' dad takes Desiree into the basement for an adjustment. Whoa, back up. Even though Chris' dad is a chiropractor, I don't see any reason why showing Des his "skills" is necessary, especially on the first meeting. Strike one. It just gets stranger from here, as camera shots of Chris getting his nose adjusted, as if it's a daily occurrence, by his dad are shown. Strike two. Honestly, I just got some weird vibes from this family. There was nothing outwardly wrong with them, no fights broke out, but something just seemed off. I don't see Desiree fitting in as well with Chris' family as the others.

With a less than compelling exit, Chris slides into last place thus far.

Brooks' Hometown: There are few things that I really love about Brooks. Primarily, his sense of humor. He is incredibly witty, as shown on almost every episode this season. Des is really into him...really into him. Brooks and Des canoe in a local lake and despite taking water, they have an absolute blast. Brooks has had some reservations almost every week, and it's obvious that Desiree is ahead of him in the "feelings" category. He's hoping that talking with his family will ease some of his hesitance and help him move forward in the relationship. Upon walking through the doors of Brook's home, the two are greeted by an enormous amount of hugs, screams, and hellos. Also, everyone is wearing name tags. His whole family is hilarious; I love it. The conversations are very meaningful, but not many answers to the deep questions asked are shared with the viewers. Brooks seems to feel more confident after talking with his family. HOWEVER. He is the only one not to tell Desiree that he loves her this week. That's big. (Or at least in the past it has proved to be).

Rose Ceremony: Once again, we are shown an incredibly confusing interview between Chris Harrison and Desiree. I refuse to discuss it because honestly, I'm upset. The editing these past couple of episodes is terrible and really making me frustrated. As I watched the episode with Morgan and Lindsey, we all agreed that these new pre-rose ceremony interviews need to go. Stat.

Brooks is called first, followed by Chris. Despite his two strikes, he slides in and is safe. "The final rose...when you're ready." It goes to Drew. BOOM. Spot on prediction on my part, though relatively unexpected. Zak is heartbroken, as was I. I was hoping that Chris would've packed his bags, but poor little Zak has to go home to his adorable mom and explain why Desiree let him go. And the hardest part will undoubtedly be coming up with that explanation. I feel for that guy, I really do.

Next Week:

"The Men Tell All" airs next week so there will be no elimination. Instead, we will have a reunion of 22 testosterone filled, protein packed, guys. There will be screaming, yelling, pointing, and most likely...crying. Get excited ladies and gentlemen.

The Bachelorette: Week 7 Recap

Week 7

This week, Des and her suitors traveled to the island of Madeira, well off the coast of Portugal. We are down to just five men, which means that next week is hometowns! My favorite week, personally. But, before we get there, one man needs to go and a few more dates need to be had. No sight of Chris Harrison at the beginning of the episode, and no personal delivery of the date card. (Turns out, Chris was supporting a friend at a charity golf tournament which is why he was late for filming. Fun fact.)

The episode began with a mini-reunion of a few of the girls from last season: Catherine (Sean's fiance), Leslie, and Jackie. Getting the girls' opinion on the guys seemed to really put Des' mind at ease after having it shaken last week with James. It was so good to see that the girls remained friends even after the show ended! I approve.

Brook's Second 1-on-1: The man who got the first one on one date of the season has gotten his second. Go Brooks. The two drive off in a super sexy...Smart Car and head for the mountains. They spent most of the day driving, not exactly my ideal date. When Brooks and Des finally made it to the top, they settled down on a rock in the clouds and shared a few kisses and good conversation. *Cue unnecessary amounts of metaphors to how "love is like being in the clouds."* I swear those lines are scripted. While atop the mountain and amongst the clouds, Des and Brooks create a few "adjectives" to describe the stages between like and love. They came up with "stepping", "skipping", "jogging", "running", and "finish line." Pardon me, but those are four verbs and a noun. Don't mind me, just the grammar police over here. As cheesy as these terms are, keep them in mind as they play into the show later on. Brooks and Des finish off the night with a private fireworks show, courtesy of ABC. First week without a private concert! I think ABC has been reading my blog...

Chris' Second 1-on-1: Chris, another front runner, and Des spend their day on a private yacht in the royal blue waters of Madeira. With an awkward send off from the guys atop the balcony, the date is underway. Chris and Des seems to have some really good chemistry and she is giddy when she's around him. He really is the dark horse of the season in my opinion. Des and Chris beach it on a private island (typical) and hike through beautiful trails and flowers. At dinner, Chris tells Des that he loves her...through yet another poem. I'm sorry, but I am over the poetry at this point and wish this guy could just talk to her not in Iambic pentameter. Des is still clearly touched by his expression of love and it's pretty clear that this guy will be getting a hometown date.

Michael's 1-on-1: Michael finally gets his first one on one date, seven weeks into the show. He was behind the eight ball from the very beginning of this episode and it was clear to the audience that he would be the one going home. Although, if I was Des, I would have sent him home a few weeks ago after his 2-on-1 date with Ben. But, alas. Desiree and Michael spend the day exploring Madeira, trying weird tropical fruits, and riding on a manpowered go-kart type thing. It was just strange, and boring. Michael does open up to Des, but it was just too little too late. It was clear that her relationships with other four guys had progressed much further than her's and Michael's and there was no time to catch up. Time to throw in the towel, bud.

Drew and Zak's 2-on-1: I know what you're thinking. Another two one one date?! With two of my favorite people?! Don't worry. Although there is a rose on this date, no one will be going home until the rose ceremony. So, there's not as much pressure and Des admits that it feels more like hanging out with two of her guys friends...both of which she's romantically involved with. Interesting. Drew and Zak race real go-karts around an amazing track as Des waves the checkered flag in her high heels just like in the arcade racing games. Zak wins by a mile, not even looking back to see Drew, let alone letting up on the gas. His first place in the race earns him the first one on one session with Desiree. He shares a bunch of drawings depicting the progression of their relationship and Des clearly enjoys that he is artistic and creative. Zak really has a way of making Desiree laugh, and it's fun to watch. Drew's time with Desiree is once again, impecable. She spends most of the day trying to get Drew to "let go" and he talks of how he makes sure the people he lets in are trusting. Drew also shares with Desiree his excitement for her potentially meeting his entire family, and Desiree can't help from smiling. Drew's kindness and caring personality is almost contagious it seems. Drew gets the rose, which really indicates him as the front runner, in my opinion. Overall, it was probably the coolest two on one date in Bachelor history.

Also, I would like to point out that both of these men wore Converses to this date. Major bonus points in my book.

Rose Ceremony: Prior to the rose ceremony, Des and Chris (thanks for finally showing up) have a really bizarre interview. Chris gets Des to admit that she is at the "finish line" with Brooks, which means that she loves him. Hold your horses. I could've sworn the Bachelor/ette were in a contract to where they couldn't say they were in love with a specific person until the final episode! I am so confused. At that point, it seemed as if she was ready to just end the rest of the show and choose Brooks. But then she tells Chris she's also falling for Chris (the other one) and he's confused as well. Basically, this entire interview was a waste of my time and hurt my brain. Des sends Michael home at the rose ceremony. His exit is very graceful and he makes it clear that he has nothing but good things to say about Des and respects her decision. He also wishes her luck and comments that she has four great guys. True, but a weird comment from the guy that was just eliminated.

So, Brooks, Chris, Zak, and Drew will each take Desiree to their hometown next week to meet their family. This coming week is really the make it or break it week. Things can change so quickly and front runners can go home in the blink of an eye depending on how their family reacts to Desiree. Because of this, I don't feel completely confident in my prediction for who will be going home next week, but I'll give it a shot anyways.

Elimination Prediction:

 Zak W.

The Bachelorette: Week 6 Recap

Week 6

HOLA. Bienvenidos a Barcelona para esta episodio! (Welcome to Barcelona for this episode). We are six weeks into Desiree's journey to find love and this week Spain is the "perfect place to fall in love", as is every other place they have and will visit. Chris meets the boys in a local plaza and hands out the first date card; it's for Drew. Holla.

Drew AKA Jay Gatsby AKA perfect. 

Drew's 1-on-1: Finally. My man Drew gets his well deserved one on one date. Drew meets Desiree in the streets of Barcelona looking gorgeous as always and Desiree reveals that they will be spending the day exploring Spain. Drew couldn't be more pleased and it's obvious that he is so genuinely excited to be here with Des and spend any time possible with her. Love him. Over tapas and wine, Drew reveals some of his family history with Des. His hero is his recovered alcoholic father, and this story really touches Des. She is appreciative of how open Drew is, as if he had a choice. I'm not sure what it is about Drew, but he just radiates on camera. There is just something about this kid, and I'm a fan. Before the two can enjoy their dinner, Drew spontaneously grabs Des by the hand and leads her into a dark alley...(stay tuned)...for a super romantic kiss. Des loves it, oh girl. Of course, she offers him the rose, and he accepts. What happens next is probably one of the smartest plays in Bachelorette history. After securing the rose, Drew decides to bring up the house drama with James. Smart move, homie. He gives her the option of hearing what he has to say, and she chooses to listen. Des seems very appreciative of Drew's information, though obviously hurt. Almost perfect date; I just wish Drew would have held his tongue for a week or two longer.

Group Date: Gooooooooooooooal! Looks like the boys will be facing off in a soccer game this week. Juan Pablo's dream date. As a former pro soccer player, it was clear that Juan Pablo was in his element and loving every second of it. Brooks made a hilarious comment that "Juan Pablo's name is directly translated to 'You have no chance. And I am going after Desiree at this moment in the soccer field.'" Kid has jokes. The boys face off against Desiree and a team of seemingly harmless girls. But to the boy's surprise, a combination of these girls hidden soccer talents and James' terrible goalie skills caused them to lose the game 10-2. I could see all of their egos deflating on the field.

The men ready to play soccer, and James. Terrified
of anything that comes near his overly sculpted body.

It was clear from the moment the group date "cocktail hour" started that the drama with James was going to come up. And quick. It wasn't long before Kasey pulled Des aside to back up Drew's story and the other men confronted James. Though his facial expressions showed surprise at the allegations of him "positioning himself to be the next Bachelor", his excessive cursing, sweating, and rambling said otherwise. Des decides not to give out the group rose and sends all of the men home, expect James. Duh duh duh. She confronts him about everything that has been said and it's clear (to me) that James is a big fat liar and needs to pack his bags, protein, and 'roids, and head home to the Jersey Shore. Despite it being clear to the audience of James' intentions, Desiree gives him the benefit of the doubt and decides that they both need to "sleep on it." Not my favorite choice of hers, but as long as she got rid of him by the end of the episode, I would be pleased.

Zak's 1-on-1: Zak was filled in by the men in the house about the James' situation and he knows that Desiree is probably emotionally exhausted from last night, and makes it a point to put that all aside for the day and just let her smile and be herself. Precious. The two head to a local art studio and sketch a couple of models. We have known from the beginning of the season that Des loves to draw and be artistic, and she is clearly in her element, and Zak loves that about her. He's actually not too bad of an artist himself and impresses both Desiree and me with his sketches. After the first sketch of a man in a trenchcoat, a male model walks in in a robe, drops it, and poses nude for the two. I was dying laughing at this point. Zak's facial expression is priceless, poor guy. He sucks it up though, and that is commendable. Zak and Des draw each other and I have absolutely no words for Zak's drawing of Desiree. She literally falls to the floor dying laughing in one of my favorite moments of the season. Zak ends the excursion by walking into the room in a robe and dramatically dropping it to pose for Desiree in his underwear. Once again, hilarious.

Dinner is perfect, and Zak reveals to the camera that he is in love with Desiree. 100%. Uh oh. I love this guy, I really do, but I have a bad feeling that he is going to end up getting his heart completely broken and I'm not looking forward to watching that. Zak gets the rose and ends the date with another dark alley/cave romantic kiss with Desiree. Boy, the guys have really stepped up their game this week.

Let's just all take a second to appreciate three of the guys
spying on Des and James' intense conversation from
the balcony. Perfect.

Rose Ceremony: Woah woah woah Chris. Why are there only three roses on the plate?! Apparently, three men will be going home tonight. I freaked out a little, because I really only wanted James and Michael G. to go home. Who else would she send home? Not Juan Pablo. He's freaking adorable, hilarious, and really sweet. And definitely not Kasey...well, maybe Kasey. Turns out, this girl decides to keep litigator Michael G (for whatever reason) and send Juan Pablo, Kasey, and James home. Despite James' rather unattractive plea to stay on the show, Des makes the right decision and sends him home. Drew makes the perfect comment that she had a really tough choice tonight sending home two great guys, Juan Pablo and Kasey, but that justice was done in sending home James and that is most important. Agreed.

I refuse to address the preview for the rest of the season because I can't even handle what's going on in it and...well yeah, I just can't. Sorry.

Predictions for Hometowns:

1. Drew
2. Brooks
3. Zak
4. Chris

Michael G. goes home.

The Bachelorette: Week 5 Recap

This week, my family, Morgan, and me are in the Ozark Mountains relaxing and rejuvenating. However, don't think that just because I am surrounded by beautiful scenery, wildlife, and God's great creations, I would miss out on The Bachelorette. No sir. Morgan set her alarm for 7:00 and the entire family proceeded to watch The Bachelorette together in our mountain home living room. This was my my dad's, mom's, and uncle's first time watching the show, and their reactions were perhaps more entertaining than the show itself.

Week 5 

Chris' 1-on-1: This week, Desiree and the men travled to Munich, Germany on their first leg around the world on this "incredible journey to find love." The first 1-on-1 date was for Chris. Desiree had never been to Europe before this trip, so she and Chris spent their date meandering through the streets on Munich, struggling with German, and drinking lots of beer. They found their way to the Rock Hall in the city centre and began to dance to the local music. 

*Camera changes to Bryden at the hotel*. Bryden is clearly still struggling with his feelings for Desiree and in a conversation with James, determines that it would be best for him to head home. He sets out into the streets of Germany (with the camera men) to find Desiree and Chris and inform Des that he has decided to leave. Not your best move, Bryden. I smell producers all over that set up. Regardless, Bryden finds Des, to her and Chris' surprise, and asks to talk to her for a few minutes. By this point, I think that Desiree knows whats coming and she is not surprised when Bryden breaks the news. Although she is not surprised, she is clearly upset, both at the news of his departure, but probably more so at the fact that he flew all the way over to Germany and then immediately decided to leave. Bryden and Des say an incredibly awkward goodbye, sans hugs or any form of affection, and Desiree heads back to her date with Chris. She is determined to "stay positive and not let Bryden affect the rest of her day", as she holds back the tears on camera. Fail. The rest of Chris and Desiree's date goes very smoothly and it is clear that the two have a connection I had not seen on camera prior to this episode. Chris has moved his way up to the front runner position, and I'm a fan. Des and Chris kiss frequently throughout the dinner and cliche private concert, much to my father's displeasure and clear disgust. 

Group Date: Desiree takes seven men on a group date sledding down the most picturesque mountains I have ever seen. The date begins with a yodeling lesson (and a little marriage advice) from a local German. Juan Pablo quickly embraces the situation and turns it into a rather comedic viewing experience. Juan Pablo is growing on me each week, and it's not just because he has an accent and is incredibly good looking. He's flipping hilarious. This group date truly looked like an absolute blast! Following the sledding adventures, the group heads into a private manmade ice castle and begin the rotation of Desiree. Brooks is the first to secure one on one time with Desiree, followed by Mikey. Before Mikey can make his move, Zak pulls a hilarious stunt by yodeling right behind the couple and stealing Desiree away. Desiree genuinely finds this funny and she has no problem leaving Mikey for Zak. Bad sign for Mikey. James has a solid one on one session with Desiree, despite Brooks awkwardly creeping on the two as they shared a kiss. Weird. 

Throughout the course of the group date, it becomes clear that a few of the guys have a problem with James. In overhearing conversations between James and Mikey, Drew reveals that James plans to become the next Bachelor and profit off of the publicity back home. Rude. Desiree is unaware of this new house tension, and remains so throughout the entire episode. ABC is saving that drama for next week, ladies. Brooks secures the group rose in what seemed to be a bit of a lack luster group date, romantically at least. 

Ben and Michael's 2-on-1: Uh oh. The dreaded two on one. Each season, there is one date card that every man prays his name is not on, and that is the 2-on-1. Desiree will take two men on one date; one stays, one goes. It promises to be the most awkward, tension filled date of the season, and this one did not disappoint. Ben had already been quite the source of tension in the house, particularly with Michael. Flashback to week two when Ben stole Desiree away from Michael as he was revealing his diabetic condition to her. There is already too much tension between these two men (boys) before the date even begins. Michael promises to the viewers to reveal Ben as the fraud that he truly is and plans to use his litigation skills to do so. Oh boy. Ben is his usual arrogant self and saunters around the house waiting for the date to begin. 

Desiree, and her perfect humor, fools the boys into thinking that they will be doing the Polar Bear Plunge into the frigid water. Just as she counts to three, she reveals that they will instead be swimming in their own "hot tug." A hot tug is just like a hot tub, but a boat. This would be perfectly romantic if there weren't two guys on this date, but for whatever reason, ABC finds it necessary to put both Desiree and the men through this torture time and time again. The tension between the two men grows as Michael starts throwing not so subtle comments at Ben about his faith and his role as a father. Ben keeps his cool and seems to be taking the hits well until a fastball about his son knocks him out at dinner and he leaves the room to "gather his thoughts." At this point, I would have sent both Michael and Ben home for acting like immature idiots, but Desiree decides to keep Michael around for another week because she can "see a future with him." First bad move of the season, chicka. Despite her (the producer's) poor choice in keeping Michael, Ben is gone which is definitely a plus. What's the saying about not having your cake and eating it too? 

Rose Ceremony: Desiree once again opts for no cocktail party, but also no pool party. It's straight to the rose ceremony. This upsets Drew in particular as he was determined to out James in his one-on-one time with Desiree. However, this could've been his saving grace as the person that outs another man often ends up going home instead. Hold on, Drew! I want you around for a lot longer. Because there was no rose ceremony, it's clear to the viewers that the person she is sending home is Mikey. He is the only one left that she hadn't kissed and it was evident that their "relationship" and connection was not nearly as strong as the other men in the house. He says a curt goodbye and exits stage right. 

The preview for next week shows drama on drama on drama. Be prepared for an obscene amount of man tears, Desiree tears, and perhaps even some Chris Harrison tears. Who knows? That guy gets pretty involved with this show. Hopefully we will get rid of all the snakes in the house next week and the show can refocus on the actual dates and Desiree's search for love. Fingers crossed. 

Top 5:

1. Chris

2. Brooks

3. Drew

4. Zak

5. Juan Pablo 

The Bachelorette: Week 4 Recap

Week 4
Let the traveling begin! Sort of. The Bachelor and Bachelorette are known for having exotic dates all over the world, dates us normal people can't even imagine. This week, the group left the house in California and boarded a plane to Atlantic City, New Jersey. Con: Not exotic and a disappointment for the viewers. Pro: The majority of the guys look like Jersey boys, so they should fit right in. #passtheprotein.

Brad's 1-on-1: Brad gets the first date card, and he is thrilled to have the one-on-one with Des. Duh. However, before the date starts, Zak and Mikey both foreshadow Brad being spent home.The general consensus is that Brad is really sweet, but really quiet and not for Des. Not sure if it's the single dad factor or what, but the boys are convinced Brad is going home, and by the time the date starts, so am I. Poor editing on ABC's part. Brad and Des spend the day on the boardwalk playing carnival games, riding rides, and eating all sorts of delicious deserts. They hang out in a giant sandcastle city on the beach before heading to dinner inside a local lighthouse. During dinner, it looks like Des isn't really feeling the vibes with Brad. The conversation is definitely struggling. Between the long pauses, awkward laughs, and boring dialogue, it's clear that Des is going to send Brad home. (Despite her standard "I'm conflicted" interview). She makes a last ditch effort to keep it alive by suggesting they climb to the top of the lighthouse. During the climb, we have more voiceovers from other guys predicting Brad's demise. And they're right! Brad doesn't get the rose and packs his bags. He had nothing but positive things to say about Des in his exit interview. Brad is a sweet guy, but it was clear that he was not the one. And then there were 12.

Group Date: 

On this week's group date, the men competed in a "Mr. America" pageant. Boy, I knew I was in for a treat as soon as Chris Harrison announced it. And by "treat" I mean me shaking my head more times than I can count and being in a continual state of embarrassment for all the boys. The pageant consisted of the standard interviews, talent show, and swimsuit competition. The men performed in front of a live audience full of screaming women. I probably would've peed my pants I'd be so nervous. There were some very interesting answers during the interview process. We found out that Juan Pablo has a kid too. What. Lots of dads this season. Mikey gets really serious and sentimental with his answer and draws quite the laugh by stating that guys aren't just a piece of meat and are emotional as well. And then proceeds to take his shirt off during the talent portion and do handstand pushups, acting exactly like a "piece of meat." Brooks is rather humorous and keeps a lighthearted attitude throughout the entire competition, even smashing his ukulele on stage. It's hard for me to pick a standout from all of the "talents" because they were all incredibly entertaining. Between baton twirling, men in heels, guitars, hula hoops, tap dancing, and Shakespeare readings, I couldn't figure out where to look. (Just kidding, I was staring at Drew). The swimsuit competition was...interesting. For whatever reason, ABC felt it necessary to put a handful of these guys in speedos. Ew. No one, not even Ryan Gosling, should ever wear a speedo. At the end of it all, it is Kasey that takes the title.

During the remainder of the group date, Ben causes more house drama by stealing Des away from the group and sitting right in front of all of them to talk to her. Zak W. plays Des a song on guitar that he wrote and impressed both Des and me. He had a surprisingly good voice. His performance and sweet personality got him the group rose; I approve.

James' 1-on-1: For James and Des' date, they take a helicopter tour of New Jersey with an American Red Cross volunteer. It's the first helicopter ride of the season, though not in the usual context. They spend their ride looking at all of the damage that Hurricane Sandy did to New Jersey; it is absolutely unbelievable what nature can do. They meet a couple that has lost almost everything due to Hurricane Sandy and grow quite fond of them. The older couple shares that Hurricane Sandy came on the night of their 38th anniversary. Des is touched by their story, and after conferring with James, decides to give their date to these Hurricane Sandy survivors. Bonus points. James and Des hit up a local pizza for dinner and share deep conversation. James is (over)honest and shares that he cheated on a past girlfriend. This makes the situation rather awkward as Des was cheated on. She is disappointed in James' mistake, but she appreciates his honesty and seems to move on from that conversation with an incredible amount of ease. Des and James join the older couple for a private concert by Darius Rucker. (Count 'em, three private concerts this season). Des gives James the rose and the night ends on a positive note.

Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony:
The main focus of the cocktail party was Bryden. Despite his wonderful first date with Des, he has been lacking some feelings for her since then, and has "fallen behind where [he thinks he should be]." Des makes it clear in her one on one time with Bryden that she wants him here and hopes that he will trust the process and stick around. This gives Bryden enough reassurance to accept the rose she offers him. But barely. The dummy stands there for what feels like an eternity after Des calls his name before walking forward to accept the rose. Zack K. is sent home tonight, and it comes as quite a shock to him. However, he manages to keep his composure in his exit interview and hold back the man tears.

Top 5:

1. Brooks
2. Zak W.
3. Bryden. If he can keep his head in the game (so to speak), I still think he will go pretty far.
4. Drew
5. James (Although, the preview for next week shows some pretty sketchy stuff with him)